For the final week of 2020 we embraced our ethos as lap stars and set out to ride the Festive 500 entirely in Prospect Park.
Every December Rapha challenges cyclists around the world to ride 500 kilometers between Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve. I’m a Festive 500 fan, but it’s the errand of a passionate fool.
This year was different. COVID-19 had me staying put for the holidays and I’m steering clear of group rides for the foreseeable future. Participants could count indoor virtual rides, but riding a trainer for 18+ hours sounded even harder than riding in winter weather for 310.6 miles.
So I hit the streets like never before! Nah. I hit them like I’ve done time and time again. I rode laps in Prospect Park.
Riding haute laps in a park is a fact of life in New York City. If you don’t have time to cross the GW Bridge or take a scenic trip on the Metro North, you’re probably riding some park laps. I like Prospect Park, but Central Park’s got you covered if you wanna gawk at the ponies and ride up Harlem Hill.
I didn’t count the miles we acquired riding to/from the park, which meant I had to ride 92 laps to rack up 500 kilometers. There were highs, lows, numb extremities, and hours of solitude that gave me plenty of time to wonder why this seemed like a reasonable idea.
December 24th – 25 Laps, 136.0 km
Day 1 was cold and rainy. I set out for a 30-lap century and came up short. A puncture after 25 soggy laps was the nail in the coffin, and I changed that tube and limped home in the dark.
December 25th – 10 Laps, 54.4 km
Surprise: Another day of cold rain and stiff winds. I drowned in regret and still made it back in time for a holiday video chat and some Lambrusco.
December 26th – 0 Laps, 0.0 km
Day 3 was all about sleeping in, drinking haute toddies, and spending quality time with Speedy Meatball.
December 27th – 18 Laps, 97.9 km
This was the coldest day thus far, but the lack of wind and rain made for a manageable day out. Spirits were high and I celebrated with a vegan pie from my favorite pizza pals.
December 28th – 20 Laps, 108.8 km
Park lap paradise. Milder temperatures and confident legs motivated us to ride well after sundown. Things were going my way, and I ended the day with enough energy to joke about how riding in all these circles might be enough to flush 2020 down the toilet.
December 29th – 6 Laps, 32.6 km
I dressed poorly and froze my paws off. You know those days when you terrify your neighbors by screaming into a pillow to cope with the pain of your hands thawing? That was the vibe.
December 30th – 13 Laps, 70.7 km
Victory laps. I waved to fans, signed autographs, and raised our arms high at the finish line. Actually, the mundane nature of this regrettable endeavor made for a pretty unremarkable conclusion. At least I wrapped a day early.
So what does one do to pass the time when riding in circles for roughly 20 hours? The same shit you always do in the park: Ride safely, keep your head on a swivel, cringe whenever a rider attempts a supertuck on a slight downhill, fantasize about a season of NBC’s Survivor comprised entirely of pets, wear a face covering, and marvel at the unflappable dedication of your fellow New Yorkers.
Rides like this don’t make for much of a story, but all this isolation has made it easy to forget that I’m surrounded by humans with vastly different aspirations, priorities, beliefs, views, and experiences. Even though I was always 6 feet (or more) away from my fellow parkgoers, there was something refreshing about seeing so many New Yorkers out in the cold winter air. Next year I probably won’t spend the holidays in a park-shaped vortex of suffering, but there’s no denying that I gained some perspective and a deeper appreciation for my city during those 20 hours of riding.
So what’s next for Haute Laps? Honestly, this Festive 500 felt like a cold, rusty nail that I was trying to drive through hardwood with a bare fist. I’m on a baked goods and Del Professore diet for the next few days. Happy New Year.
